A crowd of 22,000 turned out to see how many humans would be permanently injured or killed in the match up between the Blisterin Shagfisters and the Legion of the Dead. Some of the crowd could barely contain themselves at the prospect of blood and mayhem, and a rock was thrown just as the whistle blew for kickoff with the Fisters receiving. It’s unclear whether it was thrown by one of the 13,000 Necrophiliacs, or the smaller contingent of Fister fans but the rock hit the Flash E Farqueoff who hit the pitch before the ball, spending the rest of the game on the sidelines badly hurt.
With their Thrower out of the game before it even started Will Mashewgud and his still fractured leg stepped up and played like a P-junkie. Lineman Bruis d’Nutsak knocked out Roger the ghoul as part of the forward drive that saw Mashewgud throw to catcher Dash Stikkyfingers who sprinted downfield, stumbling across the line to see the Fisters go 1 - 0 early in the first half.
The Legion of the Dead regrouped and put forward a solid drive, taking 4 more phases to level the scores with a touch down to Precious the ghoul. It must have been close to that time of month for Knight Howler, as he chased down anything moving faster or smelling fresher than a zombie. Within two wags of his tail Howler had new human catcher Pants Onfirah smashed off the pitch into the crowd, where he remained for the rest of the game.
It was during this leveling drive that the Legion’s head coach ordered a tactical slow down to burn up time when the endzone was within striking distance. This strategy may have been regretted as it was during the extra phases that Mashewgud lay the smack down on the wight Lord Doom who’s groin strain will keep him out of the next game. At same time Lineman d’Nutsak smashed the brains out of Brains the zombie, resulting in serious concussion which will have repercussions in the future if Brains ever makes it back onto a Blood Bowl pitch.
With clock moving on in the second half the Fisters tried to hurry through a return but Howler chased down Catcher Stikkyfingers who was carrying the ball into the Legions half. Precious recovered but lacked remaining time to add to the score.
The second half started with a pitch invasion, which saw three of the Fisters and two of the Legion on the ground. Brik Enface knocked himself out making a desperate tackle without support, and Mashewgud slipped and spent some quality time with the Doc before returning to the pitch. Again the Legion’s coach was ordering slow play and the Fisters took the opportunity to lay down a foul on the Legion’s flesh golem “The Rock”, which seemed to hurry Precious across the line to take the Legion up 2 - 1
With enough time for three more phases the Fisters were desperately playing for the draw and quickly threw the ball to Stikkyfingers who ran down field with cover from Enface. The Howler knocked down Stikkyfingers allowing Precious the ghoul to recover the ball before being badly hurt when Mashewgud bagged his second casualty of the night.
The play of the day came from Blitzer Enface, dodging through multiple tackle zones to scoop up the ball from under the Howlers nose and slipping across into the end zone to level the scores again.
A blitz from kickoff saw the Fisters charging deep into the Legion’s half where Roger the ghoul was positioned to take the kick off. The Howler was racing down field and The Rock was to clear a channel for a hand off and throw but Lineman d’Nutsak took The Rock to the ground with him when blocked by the Flesh golem, stunning all but Blizter Mashewgud. Mashewgud ran in the Fisters third touch down of the night and first victory of the season.
Showing posts with label Blisterin' Shagfisters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blisterin' Shagfisters. Show all posts
Monday, June 27, 2011
Match Report:
Heartless Bastards 3
Blisterin' Shagfisters 0
PLAYED 21/6/11
After some hefty trash-talking claims by the Coach of the Blisterin Shagfisters and the astounding first game for the Heartless Bastards, a record crowd of 22,000 fans turned up to see the showdown which did not disappoint. It was a brutal spectacle and a dirty, dirty game, but the Bastards emerged victorious and unscathed, leaving the bruised and battered Fisters to ponder just how their game went so wrong.
A shallow right kick-off from the Bastards got the bloodbath rolling, the Fister caging up against a toey Bastard line; but it was Blitzer #2 for the Dark Elves who was able to crack their defenses and sacking Dash Stikkyfingers. Snatched up by the Bastards they sent the ball deep into their own half to let their heavy hitters get to work. It was clear from the get go that the Shagfisters were going to use every dirty trick in the book, but the eagle-eyed ref caught the foul of crowd favourite "Wolfbane" and Journeyman Red Shurt was the first of many Fisters to be sent off.
The Bastards responded with a vicious tacklefest, with Blister #2 hard at it taking out his opposite on the human side, seeing Brik Enface out of the game; and much to the fans' delight, the Bastards' rookie Journeyman earned his stripes with a crippling tackle on Nik "The Screamer" Snatchengo, who howled all the way to the dugout as he clutched his smashed knee. With one tackle the journeyman also earned his name, and "Kneecapper" guaranteed his future with the Bastards.
Flash E Farqueoff returned the favour, kick the still-down "Wolfbane" between the legs so hard he was out of the game and left hugging a bag of ice for the rest of the match.
A dropped pass by the Bastards in the middle of their half gave the Fister fans something to cheer about, but the Dark Elves quickly swarmed and carried off the ball, with Tough Bastard getting the pass in to fan fave "Trollhammer" who dashed across the line late in the first half.
Both sides were somewhat diminished as their formed up on the scrimmage line, with 9 Dark Elves squaring up against 7 Humans, but there was too little time left for the Fisters drive to come good and both teams limped off the field.
The hard hitting tactics from the Heartless Bastards and the keen eyes of the refs kept the foul-happy Fisters short of quite a few good men, and in the second half the lack of numbers really began to show. the crowd was behind the humans, with a rock to Hard Bastard's skull momentarily taking him out of the action, but the Fisters weren't helped when Slymon "Grandpa" Abletoss tripped over his own bootlaces and went down so hard he smashed his hip; the Bastards capitalised on the opening to score early in the second, with blitzer Tough Bastard going over the line for the glory.
With five off the pitch the Fisters really couldn't form up a solid play; Brik Enface needing to rely on a bit of crowdsurfing encouragement to finally take Hard Bastard out of action, but in the end it was for nothing. The Fisters broke through the dark elf line of defense, but its snapped shut around the ball carrier and eventually found its way into Tough Bastard's hands, after a pickup in the tackle zone, dodge and pass to fleet-footed Dirty Bastard, who score the last Touchdown of the day.
MVPs went to Dirty Bastard for the TD and to Brik Enface for his fancy blitzer-throwing maneuvers. All in all a great day of Blood Bowl if you're a pointy-eared bastard!
After some hefty trash-talking claims by the Coach of the Blisterin Shagfisters and the astounding first game for the Heartless Bastards, a record crowd of 22,000 fans turned up to see the showdown which did not disappoint. It was a brutal spectacle and a dirty, dirty game, but the Bastards emerged victorious and unscathed, leaving the bruised and battered Fisters to ponder just how their game went so wrong.
A shallow right kick-off from the Bastards got the bloodbath rolling, the Fister caging up against a toey Bastard line; but it was Blitzer #2 for the Dark Elves who was able to crack their defenses and sacking Dash Stikkyfingers. Snatched up by the Bastards they sent the ball deep into their own half to let their heavy hitters get to work. It was clear from the get go that the Shagfisters were going to use every dirty trick in the book, but the eagle-eyed ref caught the foul of crowd favourite "Wolfbane" and Journeyman Red Shurt was the first of many Fisters to be sent off.
The Bastards responded with a vicious tacklefest, with Blister #2 hard at it taking out his opposite on the human side, seeing Brik Enface out of the game; and much to the fans' delight, the Bastards' rookie Journeyman earned his stripes with a crippling tackle on Nik "The Screamer" Snatchengo, who howled all the way to the dugout as he clutched his smashed knee. With one tackle the journeyman also earned his name, and "Kneecapper" guaranteed his future with the Bastards.
Flash E Farqueoff returned the favour, kick the still-down "Wolfbane" between the legs so hard he was out of the game and left hugging a bag of ice for the rest of the match.
A dropped pass by the Bastards in the middle of their half gave the Fister fans something to cheer about, but the Dark Elves quickly swarmed and carried off the ball, with Tough Bastard getting the pass in to fan fave "Trollhammer" who dashed across the line late in the first half.
Both sides were somewhat diminished as their formed up on the scrimmage line, with 9 Dark Elves squaring up against 7 Humans, but there was too little time left for the Fisters drive to come good and both teams limped off the field.
The hard hitting tactics from the Heartless Bastards and the keen eyes of the refs kept the foul-happy Fisters short of quite a few good men, and in the second half the lack of numbers really began to show. the crowd was behind the humans, with a rock to Hard Bastard's skull momentarily taking him out of the action, but the Fisters weren't helped when Slymon "Grandpa" Abletoss tripped over his own bootlaces and went down so hard he smashed his hip; the Bastards capitalised on the opening to score early in the second, with blitzer Tough Bastard going over the line for the glory.
With five off the pitch the Fisters really couldn't form up a solid play; Brik Enface needing to rely on a bit of crowdsurfing encouragement to finally take Hard Bastard out of action, but in the end it was for nothing. The Fisters broke through the dark elf line of defense, but its snapped shut around the ball carrier and eventually found its way into Tough Bastard's hands, after a pickup in the tackle zone, dodge and pass to fleet-footed Dirty Bastard, who score the last Touchdown of the day.
MVPs went to Dirty Bastard for the TD and to Brik Enface for his fancy blitzer-throwing maneuvers. All in all a great day of Blood Bowl if you're a pointy-eared bastard!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Introducing....
The Blisterin Shagfisters
Affectionately known as the Fisters by their fans, The Blisterin Shagfisters had until recently been disbanded for over 30 years. It was following Brutus Shaggafist’s dismissal from the Down Sin Drones in the Rightful Heir League that he followed his dream of re-establishing the team made famous by his uncle Ash “Smoldering” Shaggafist.
Uncle Ash was a fearsome Blood Bowl player and a crowd favourite when the Team was just known as the Smoking Shagfisters. He gained the moniker “Smoldering” when he struck upon the idea of affixing bundles of herbal pipe weed to the outside of his armor and setting it alight just before a major drive into the oppositions defensive pack. On more than one occasion this saw the glassy eyed opposition wander off at half time in search of a McMurty’s Big Moot, conceding the match when they didn’t return.
It was during a match versus a Dark Elven team that this strategy was retired, as a dark elf Assassin snuck into the Shagfisters locker room and applied a liberal amount of grease to Uncle Ash’s middle layer padding. This went undiscovered until shortly after kickoff when a Fireball screamed from each side of the pitch coinciding on Uncle Ash's place in the line, and the Smoking Shagfisters were from that point onwards known as The Blistering Shagfisters.
Truely, they only played a few more games before disbanding and their last match was a horrifying technical win. In his first game back it is thought that Ash “Smoldering” Shaggafist still smelt and looked like roast pork walking, so it is of little surprise that in the first play of the game the entire halfling team was sent off for foul play. But not before conducting an impromptu picnic on the line of scrimmage.
Despite this ignominious past, Brutus found a manager willing to make a buck out of his families name and The Blistering Shagfisters have been reborn to great acclaim.
Glory awaits Brutus and his Fisters.
Uncle Ash was a fearsome Blood Bowl player and a crowd favourite when the Team was just known as the Smoking Shagfisters. He gained the moniker “Smoldering” when he struck upon the idea of affixing bundles of herbal pipe weed to the outside of his armor and setting it alight just before a major drive into the oppositions defensive pack. On more than one occasion this saw the glassy eyed opposition wander off at half time in search of a McMurty’s Big Moot, conceding the match when they didn’t return.
It was during a match versus a Dark Elven team that this strategy was retired, as a dark elf Assassin snuck into the Shagfisters locker room and applied a liberal amount of grease to Uncle Ash’s middle layer padding. This went undiscovered until shortly after kickoff when a Fireball screamed from each side of the pitch coinciding on Uncle Ash's place in the line, and the Smoking Shagfisters were from that point onwards known as The Blistering Shagfisters.
Truely, they only played a few more games before disbanding and their last match was a horrifying technical win. In his first game back it is thought that Ash “Smoldering” Shaggafist still smelt and looked like roast pork walking, so it is of little surprise that in the first play of the game the entire halfling team was sent off for foul play. But not before conducting an impromptu picnic on the line of scrimmage.
Despite this ignominious past, Brutus found a manager willing to make a buck out of his families name and The Blistering Shagfisters have been reborn to great acclaim.
Glory awaits Brutus and his Fisters.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Match Report:
Blisterin' Shagfisters 2
Feral Manglers 2
PLAYED 16/6/11
The Blistering Shagfisters fought hard against the Chaos Pact. Early in the first half making a play for a touchdown deep into the opposition half after Slymon Abletoss picked up a fumbled ball and tossed it upfield, Dash Stikkyfingers was pushed out into the crowd by a Dark Elf resulting in injuries that won't see Dash back on the pitch for another week. The Chaos Pact recovered and went 1 up after inflicting a brutal pounding on the human underdogs, resulting in Will Mashewgud heading to the sidelines with a fractured leg. Fortunately for the Shagfisters the team apothecary was on the sideline and quickly had repaired the damage even allowing Mashewgud to return to the pitch that half.
It was a late play in the first half where Bruis d'Nutsak had his leg fractured and the score was evened by a Nik Snachengo Touchdown, but the second half is when it got really dirty.
Flash E. Farqueoff, thrower for the Humans was sent off for foul play, Owen Sumpaebak killed Pebbles the Fouler and Big Tom kept smashing Dickie Shulda to the ground time after time until it was established that Dickie would never be getting up ever again. Brick Enface took the score to 2 - 1 in favour of the Shagfisters in the middle of the half, whilst the casualties continued to mount with Brutus Shaggafist leaving the field with a broken jaw and Will Mashewgud ensured that another Chaos Pact player would miss the next game.
A goblin thrown for touchdown was a turn 8 play by the Chaos pact, leading to riots in stadium that had the time clock reset for an extra play each. Having set up simply to cause injury this left the key players out of position, Will Mashewgud carved a channel through the defense and the pass went to Owen Sumpaebak who was already looking at the touchline downfield. Owen's dreams of victory and glory slipped through his fingers and bounced to the ground, essentially securing the result as a draw.
MVP for the humans went to Will Mashewgud, who was inspirational and provided some key assists running around the field like a madman on his fractured leg. Nobody knows exactly what the Apothecary did to get him back on the field, but Will is sharper than ever and has been heard to comment "...I need another fix, man" and "got a copper, mister". Doc Feelgood's only comment was "...the first one is always free..." but hasn't elaborated further.
The Blistering Shagfisters fought hard against the Chaos Pact. Early in the first half making a play for a touchdown deep into the opposition half after Slymon Abletoss picked up a fumbled ball and tossed it upfield, Dash Stikkyfingers was pushed out into the crowd by a Dark Elf resulting in injuries that won't see Dash back on the pitch for another week. The Chaos Pact recovered and went 1 up after inflicting a brutal pounding on the human underdogs, resulting in Will Mashewgud heading to the sidelines with a fractured leg. Fortunately for the Shagfisters the team apothecary was on the sideline and quickly had repaired the damage even allowing Mashewgud to return to the pitch that half.
It was a late play in the first half where Bruis d'Nutsak had his leg fractured and the score was evened by a Nik Snachengo Touchdown, but the second half is when it got really dirty.
Flash E. Farqueoff, thrower for the Humans was sent off for foul play, Owen Sumpaebak killed Pebbles the Fouler and Big Tom kept smashing Dickie Shulda to the ground time after time until it was established that Dickie would never be getting up ever again. Brick Enface took the score to 2 - 1 in favour of the Shagfisters in the middle of the half, whilst the casualties continued to mount with Brutus Shaggafist leaving the field with a broken jaw and Will Mashewgud ensured that another Chaos Pact player would miss the next game.
A goblin thrown for touchdown was a turn 8 play by the Chaos pact, leading to riots in stadium that had the time clock reset for an extra play each. Having set up simply to cause injury this left the key players out of position, Will Mashewgud carved a channel through the defense and the pass went to Owen Sumpaebak who was already looking at the touchline downfield. Owen's dreams of victory and glory slipped through his fingers and bounced to the ground, essentially securing the result as a draw.
MVP for the humans went to Will Mashewgud, who was inspirational and provided some key assists running around the field like a madman on his fractured leg. Nobody knows exactly what the Apothecary did to get him back on the field, but Will is sharper than ever and has been heard to comment "...I need another fix, man" and "got a copper, mister". Doc Feelgood's only comment was "...the first one is always free..." but hasn't elaborated further.
Pre-Season Match Report:
Blisterin' Shagfisters 3
Ragnorok's Arseholes 1
Threeee oneee! Threeee oneee! Humans won!
Sure it was a tough game and poor old Hugo Herpes ended up dog food, but honestly it wasn't much fun sharing a shower room with him anyway. Highlights package include a 1-0 lead after the first half, although it not for an admin error in the Norse camp they would have had one more play with which to score an inevitable touchdown. That half time whistle blew at just the right time.
Second half had plenty of play making and was dominated by a human side outnumbered and technically speaking outgunned due to injury. But the Norse never looked threatening and by the end of the match had given up playing the ball and simply were aiming to maim and injury. Does this make the Norse poor losers? No, not at all - just plain old losers.
As soon as the Humans get through the public health system they'll be fighting fit again, and ready for their next match.
Threeee oneee!
Sure it was a tough game and poor old Hugo Herpes ended up dog food, but honestly it wasn't much fun sharing a shower room with him anyway. Highlights package include a 1-0 lead after the first half, although it not for an admin error in the Norse camp they would have had one more play with which to score an inevitable touchdown. That half time whistle blew at just the right time.
Second half had plenty of play making and was dominated by a human side outnumbered and technically speaking outgunned due to injury. But the Norse never looked threatening and by the end of the match had given up playing the ball and simply were aiming to maim and injury. Does this make the Norse poor losers? No, not at all - just plain old losers.
As soon as the Humans get through the public health system they'll be fighting fit again, and ready for their next match.
Threeee oneee!
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